Toy Rokit - London Jazz Festival 2015

Bill Mudge

Toy Rokit
Mark Rose - Bass
Bill Mudge - Keys
Chris Nickolls - Drums

Date - 18th November 2015
Venue - Pizza Express Jazz Club, Dean St, Soho, London, UK.

Current Album - Mission 6 featuring Mike Outram.

Mark Rose

Toy Rokit spark their improvised dynamos on the Pizza Express stage for the London Jazz Festival 2015.

Burring movement from the underground cockpit left eyes resting on the central figure of Mark Rose. Bill Mudge gave us his profile never both eyes, while Chris Nickolls dipped his head in a crisis of self confidence. Rose was the Admiral Ackbar of our scene, his music represented the Admiral's immortal lines 'It's a trap' for that was what lay before us. Hidden under the fallen leaves there were nightmarish pits for those who love to categorise and plant definitions on music, especially Jazz.

Deep bellyaching wounds were Mark Roses musical call, it had a filthiness like mechanical porn. Chris Nicholls has a freedom in this trio format, he cackled and swarmed as if a party of cavorting of locusts, he was lighter than initially expected, his fine tipped wings rubbing against a brittle exoskeleton.

Chris Nickolls

Bill Mudge was an X-ray specs shooter, sending his green and red laser lines into the darkness of the Pizza Express. At certain times it was hard to decide which musician made each noise, such was the overlap and distortion of original sounds.

Ground control samples played us, the audience, as the voyeurs of Merritt Island. The pensive Gene Kranz figure of pianist George Bone sat a few feet away from me. Mudge's keyboard protégé Paul Jordanous a few feet more. Bill Mudge cannot be caught in one mere historical epoch, he is the Captain Kirk of the mission, beaming in and out of centuries; past and future. His Spinet diversions created pin pricks in the skull as though ours heads had become miniature planetariums. As much as this describes a delicate sophistication, Mudge also regularly cleaned out his waste pipe, always for the briefest moment but enough to get us dirty.

George Bone

Toy Rokit buck the trend of many on the jazz scene where dexterity and speed are the macho bragging fist with which to thump your audience with. Toy Rokit were like one of those animated gifs that patrol the internet. Vangelis caught on a hamster wheel, it was impossible to look away.

Dan Redding - Bandeokee 2015

Max Luthert - Kiss to a rose

It is that time of year again, the highlight of the music calendar and still one of London's undiscovered gems. Glastonbury started on the day after Jimi Hendrix died while Bandeokee celebrates fellow guitarist Dan Redding who still hasn't quite managed to kick the bucket and reach the same Hall of Fame. In 2013 as a birthday present to himself he invited a fine crop of London's Jazz musicians and made them sing 80's power ballads in what was then called The Festival of Awfulness. Despite a change of name Bandeokee still tries to reach the lowest possible excellence in the music industry and humiliate its participants.

Paul Jordanous

Firstly as in every year I must add a few supporting comments to the review and sketches that follow. The musicians and press-ganged cast who stand in front of the microphone are much braver than I. They park their talent at the door of the Old Moot House in Kingston (11/04/2015) performing way out of their comfort zone and incidentally ours too. So what you read here is written with affection and respect with tongue firmly in cheek.

Dan Redding - Elvis

Dan Redding is a man of character, a leader, the sort of man you see on a poster (although possibly tacked to walls of a barber's shop). His lush wavy hair gives him the air of King Charles and our royal highness traditionally kicks off proceedings with the opening song of the evening. It was a manly performance of Elvis' 'Caught in a trap' and less of the Vegas years and more of the Hound Dog as Redding sported his spaniel perm with pride.

Bob McKay -
Minute by minute

The Statesman of the night sat calmly behind the piano, Bob McKay is the man many look up to on the Jazz circuit and not just because of his long legs. His seamless rendition of the Doobie Brothers 'Minute by minute' might have more to do the calming effects of the doobies in the air rather than any brotherly love from his fellow musicians.



Duncan Eagles
Bump N' Grind

Duncan Eagles as every young clubber on the dance floors of Pryzm, The Hippodrome and McCluskys knows can reel in young ladies with the smallest gyration of his hips. It is his boyish looks that lure many a moth to his flame and here at Bandeokee it was no different. Eagles' 'Bump N' Grind' (R Kelly) possessed such politeness that it reminded us of a Tiffin schoolboy propositioning his teacher at a school disco. Don't be mislead, for that is his power, under that veneer of respectability Duncan Eagles can let loose his grind like a rodeo star unleashing a lasso.

Helen Mayson

The pinnacle of the night came early as Helen Mayson proved the most beautiful and competent singer of the evening. This may indeed be the most dubious of compliments in light of the company she keeps. The spirit of Bandeokee dictates that Mayson is far too competent to achieve the highest accolade of Bandeokee, her performance neither humiliated nor embarrassed, in fact it was first class.

In this current age of enlightenment Bandeokee flies the flag for equal rights and it was heartening to see an all male version of 'Summer Nights' from hit musical Grease. I unfortunately didn't get a sketch of Andy or Vib and neither did I spot what colour of hanky was in their back pockets.

Piers Green

Little did we realise we were watching history in the making for here in 2015 we witnessed the return of the Castrati. Once the singing superstars of the 18 Century they dwindled into decline because of the barbaric act of castrating young men to preserve their child sized vocal cords rather than their testicles. There is no doubt that Piers Green owns cojones of manly proportions so it was with surprise that he hit the highest of notes during his performance of R Kelly's 'I believe I can fly'. Our resident heartthrob has been the 'nearly man' on previous years with both 'Careless Whisper' and 'Baker Street' earning him mentions in dispatches. It was the pick of the night because of its juxtaposition of deadpan delivery and high note bravado like a group of chipmunks singing a funeral march.

Joel Prime
Drums

Max Luthert earned the respect of his fellow musicians with the complex 'Kiss to a rose' originally by Seal. Usually the rose between the two thorns of fellow Partikel members Duncan Eagles and Eric Ford it was refreshing to see the languid bassman blossom in the limelight.

David Horden - Perfect Day

There is always one performer who takes you by surprise because of their theatre craft and David Horden was the man. The Sylvia Young training never leaves you and the murmur in the crowd was that Horden was a child star of Milky Bar Kid fame. These rumours remain unconfirmed but his performance of Lou Reed's 'Perfect Day' was strong and tough, we all suspected there was something stronger than milk in his glass.

Matthew Cox -
Not Unusual

Matthew Cox got the second set off to a swinging start with Tom Jones' 'Not Unusual'. Credit must go to the night's supporting band of Paul Jordanous (Keys), Holley Gray (Bass), Ross Ewart (guitar) and Joel Prime (drums) who sprinkled glitterdust on proceedings as though we listened in Las Vegas rather than the corner of Albert and London roads.



Sam Leak - My Way

That Vegas style still lingered in the air as Sam Leak took to the stage, the man that has been the hot favourite for the Bandeokee laurels every year since its conception. Leak resplendent in dinner jacket and with glass of whiskey in hand looked every inch the Rat Pack star. With hair brushed forward he even had a Napoleonic air such was his regal demeanour. Class is permanent, form is temporary, he always does it His Way, with panache.

Eric Guy is Tina Turner

The only man I have ever witnessed who could channel his inner Turner sang 'Simply the best'. Yes it was more JMW Turner than the Tina variety but still there was an authenticity and crowd pleasing edge that propelled Eric Guy into the higher echelons of Bandeokee. His inner woman ran rampant with such estrogen fuelled zeal that he also adopted the persona of Conchita Wurst too, although with slightly broader shoulders.

George Bone
Summer of 69

Two performers passed me by while refilling my glass but I was back in the saddle for George Bone's 'Summer of '69' which he shot from the hip like an ejaculating cowboy. Bone is your man in a gunfight such as this, never underestimate his denim demeanour.

Jonathan Lewis
is Billy Ocean

Expectations were high for last years hero Jonathan Lewis but he couldn't quite live up to his winning performance of 'Delilah'. 'When the going gets tough' was far too effete for a man of his alpha male status.

Holley Gray

Holley Gray proved he is the Beckham to Helen Mayson's Posh Spice, for they are the golden couple of Bandeokee. It was the high pitch of Beckham's voice which Gray emulated rather than the pitch of turf dreams.

The much maligned Leo Appleyard has at last found his oeuvre, his grunge groan of Nickleback's 'How you remind me' luckily didn't bring back the memory of past years but may thrust him to fame as the Cobain of Suburbia.

Leo Appleyard
Nickleback

We were treated to a grand finale with Paul Jordanous' 'Never gonna give you up'  followed by Jon Bird's heartfelt version of Harry Nilsson's 'Without You'. Bird gets better with age like a good wine but he may just need a few more years to reach the full maturity of a Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1945 rather than his Chateau Vimto of previous years. 2015 was a fine vintage and Piers Green proved that hitting the high notes may be the start of a new career as a eunuch as well as Bandeokee champion.

AL.

Jon Bird is Harry Nilsson

Ross Ewart
Guitar





Dan Redding's Bandeokee 2014

Dan Redding - Power of Love

UNESCO's International Jazz Day is but an anti-climax in comparison with the annual event of Bandeokee in Kingston that I had the pleasure of attending earlier this month. It is the night when some of the finest musicians in the country emerge from the shadow of their talent, leaving their instruments at home and instead pick up a microphone and sing for their supper. It is an act of bravery, for not only are they exposing themselves in front of their contemporaries and peers but also sharing the stage with non-musicians who often outshine them in both style and purity of voice.

Bob McKay -
In the air tonight

The collective gleam of sweat that greeted me as I walked into The Cricketers pub on Good Friday (18/04/2014) was almost blinding, as musicians and non-musos alike awaited their turn to be called on stage. It is testament to the personality of guitarist Dan Redding that the room was filled with so many people willing to humiliate themselves, for this night was originally a birthday party but now has grown into a behemoth that will one day outstrip Glastonbury in its cult worship.

Chris Nickolls -
Born in the USA

The first tune is reserved for Redding himself for he knows that the earlier you get the monkey off your back and sing your song, then the quicker you can relax and enjoy yourself. He performed 'Power of Love' and in keeping with the mid eighties period had bouffed his hair to BIG proportions.



Marc Le Guerrannic

Not only do we, the audience, enjoy the spectacle but it seems the band does too, with a core of Paul Jordanous (Keys), Holley Gray (Bass), Marc Le Guerrannic (guitar) and Cem Andre (drums) who gently giggled away in the background. As well as being a terrific night of entertainment it is also a night of speed sketching on my part, with only one tune per performer you have to throw yourself into your work. Hence I have not drawn everyone, and apologies to those I have missed.

Leo Appleyard -
My Everything

After our host, came Bob McKay who is no stranger to the big stage, I remember settling down to watch a heady session of Songs of Praise one Sunday only to be confronted by Mr McKay and his piccolo in full flow. This night he sung Phil Collins' 'In the air tonight' in the style of Leonard Cohen and he was impressive with his soft sensitive drawl. The bar had been raised high.



David Horden -
Easy like Sunday morning

Chris Nickolls didn't knock the bar from it's teetering height either, and the normally shy drummer of Shez Raja fame puffed out his chest and gave it his all. I think he has the right idea, if in doubt belt it out, and he sang his lyrics as though he were Springsteen himself in a stadium rather than the more modest Cricketers.

Jonathan Bird -
It's raining men

Despite Leo Appleyard's lambasting at last year's Bandeokee gig he came back for more, foolish or courageous you have to admire the man. With those boyish good looks and heartbreaker eyes you would have thought he had the voice of an angel. Unfortunately Appleyard does not have all of God's gifts bestowed upon him, although his rendition of Barry White's 'My Everything' hinted that his prowess in the bedroom shouldn't be underestimated.

Bill Mudge - Keys

Now here is where I missed a sketch. The next performer was Steve Gilbertson who couldn't keep still longer than a second and ended up spread-eagled on top of Cem Andre's drum kit by the end of 'Dancing on the ceiling' where he was less Lionel Ritchie and more Roger Daltrey in his destructiveness. I did capture yoga champion and trombone supremo David Horden who continued the Ritchie vibe with 'Easy like Sunday morning'. I suspect that the way Horden was bolstering himself with Dutch courage that Sunday morning would have been the moment he cast off his Good Friday hangover.

Piers Green -
Baker Street

Paul Jordanous gave his Big Band leader Jonathan Bird his very best on the camp anthem 'It's raining men'. Bird's performance was one of contradictions, he played his trump card, a handsome face like a young Marlon Brando but it wasn't quite enough to convince even his most ardent groupies. Similar to his legendary jokes there was a squirm factor in his performance just like watching David Cameron dance the Macarena.

Sam Leak -
Purple Rain

Piers Green galvanised a team effort around him for Gerry Rafferty's 'Baker Street' with Bill Mudge (Keys), a superb contribution from Le Guerrannic (Guitar) and a scintillating Bob McKay (Sax). The finger in the ear like David Coleman displayed how seriously he was taking his singing. Next was Lynsy with 'Don't you want me baby' which was theatrical so say the least, I assume that she is a thespian of some repute

Chris Southwell
Bitter Sweet Symphony

The second set was stolen by last year's hero Sam Leak, who downed a quick shot before taking to the stage. His 'Purple Rain' was both comparable to Prince himself in voice but also in curly dark looks and a swarthiness that could blunt a razor within 50 paces. A jealous voice in the crowd called out for a Stewards Enquiry. He was that good!

Tony Heiberg -
Norwegian Wood

A fine 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' from Chris Southwell could have left a pregnant pause after Leak proceeded him with such quality. To Southwell's credit he didn't let that phase him.

Kingston royalty was in the house with the arrival of Tony Heiberg on the dais and he inadvertently galvanised the crowd with his 'Norwegian Wood'. After the first verse his singing dropped away in preference to his beloved guitar and the sizeable crowd took up the reins.




Kate Reid & Gregor Ross -
Parklife

Despite the next tune being authentic mockney in delivery I assumed we had stumbled upon the set of 'Made in Chelsea' with two such beautiful people before us. Gregor Ross with bottle of beer in hand commanded the stage with his textured voice while Kate Reid gave us the thrust of Blur's Parklife, definitely more Park Lane than Skid Row.

Michael Kew -
Easy Lover

I recognised one of last year performers with his shock of blonde hair and sailor suit stripes, Michael Kew cut quite a figure, musically he hit the highest of notes amongst the his fellow male voices. It is with regret that I didn't capture his fellow 'Easy Lover' Tom Woerndal as they would have made quite a couple. Although Woerndal, with his arran sweater looked like he had just come of the set of a Scandinavian Murder drama so perhaps it is better I kept my pen sheathed.



Jenna -
Blurred Lines

The night hit an upward curve at this point (or maybe the amount of alcohol had dulled the senses) and Matthew Cox steered the safe route through Kenny Loggin's 'Danger Zone' before a duet between Sam Gusson and Jenna brought the crowd to the peak of excitement. Jenna it seems is much like Cher, Lulu and Beyoncé in only needing one name to advertise her wares.

Jonathan Lewis -
Delilah

It seems Sam Leak had less than an hour to bask in his Number One status before it was cruelly snatched away from him in an audacious and powerful counter attack by Jonathan Lewis. His performance was so theatrical that it felt like we were watching a scene from Carmen rather than a Tom Jones pastiche of 'Delilah'. Yet Lewis is no imitation or parody, here is a man who has shorn his locks but unlike Samson shows no lack of strength or virility because of his shiny pate.

George Bone -
Use Me

Before I lost all ability to hold a pen and quite possibly the dexterity to get myself to the toilet without my wife's help later in the night I danced a little jig to George Bone and Bill Withers' 'Use Me'.

Matthew Cox -
Danger Zone

Another fantastic night was topped off by Helen Mayson with Skee Lo's 'I wish'. It wouldn't be too much to ask the genie next time I rub his lamp if we could have another Bandeokee next year. For my other two wishes I will ask for a 'Rhythm Stick' to help me perform a passable Ian Dury and the courage for me to step up on stage like the other brave singers.

AL.

Helen Mayson -
I Wish

Sam Gusson -
Blurred Lines

Festival of Awfulness - Dan Redding

Dan Redding

We entered a parallel universe through a worm-hole in Kingston's Bus Garage last Saturday night (13/04/2013). Just like Harry Potter's legendary platform 9 and 3/4, I shut my eyes and hoped for the best, blinking my eyes and shaking the fugue from my brain I stared at the sight in front of me. The No.88 Bar was rammed full of off-duty Jazz musicians and aficionados of the dark art.

Max Luthert

Now some of these characters aren't exactly bronzed specimens, spending a large chunk of daylight hours sitting in their pants with the curtains drawn but tonight they looked an even paler bunch than normal. It was like walking onto the film set of a zombie movie, each of these once composed and talented Jazz glitterati wore a sheen of cold sweat and twitched uncontrollably. The most relaxed group we're setting up their kit just by the entrance, Holley Gray (Bass), Luke Harris (drums) and Ross Ewart (guitar) were all smugly chuckling to themselves.

Sam Leak

Tonight was a special night for two reasons, firstly that it marked 31 years on this earth of the No.1 guitarist in Kingston, Dan Redding, and secondly this was the inaugural night of the Festival of Awfulness.

Paul Jordanous

Now we are bombarded with excellent US sitcoms in we which endless cheery characters spout morally cumbersome platitudes at us and the ubiquitous AWESOME is uttered every third minute. Here in Britain we certainly like a good party but we're uncomfortable when our trumpets are blown by ourselves and others. So here was a new festival that celebrated our national sport of self-deprecation.

Ant

Before me were some of the most brilliant minds and fingers of the modern jazz age, so what could be so awful about that? Well apart from the house band so ably led by Tenor Godfather Bob McKay and organ funkster Bill Mudge everyone else was going to be singing.
These musicians whose careers had been built on years of fine-tuned performances would be leaving with reputations in tatters but huge smiles on their faces.

Piers Green

As you'd imagine the only way to conquer the nerves was to drink huge amounts of alcohol and calm the pumping heart. What happened next was the most inevitable and enjoyable train-wreck of talent you'll ever be lucky enough to witness

Rob Streetley

The night kicked off with Dan Redding who sledgehammered his way through Peter Gabriel's song of the same name. Like the professional he is, and in true character actor fashion Max Luthert was up next with bouffant hair and facial fluff just like his hero Phil Lynott with 'The boys are back in town'. The charming Wendy Linsey brought some decorum to the night with 'Tragedy' and her rendition definitely wasn't one.

I had several blips during the night, a mixture of wine, an energetic burbling crowd and being poleaxed by laughter meant I missed Duncan Eagles brave version of Lionel Ritchie 'Hello', although I heard the lady next to me say, "I wished he'd fucking say Goodbye..."

Michael Kew

Apologies to all the people I missed with my sketches, it was a fantastic night and I was equally swept up in the celebrations.



Sam (& Jenna)

We had our first genuinely surprising light emerge from a bushel when a languid Sam Leak of Aquarium fame stepped up to the microphone. With glass of full bodied red in hand he shared Carly Simon's 'Know-body does it better' revealing why he is gaining a reputation as a matinee idol amongst ladies of a certain age.

Holley Gray gave a rousing 'Eye of the Tiger' followed by the heavily fringed Michael Kew whose hands shook so much he placed them firmly in his back pockets as he sang Ronan Keating's 'Life is a Rollercoaster'. A spirited 'Gangster Paradise' by Kingston homey Ant was received well by the swelling crowd.

George Trebar

Once again the likeable Paul Jordanous kept us on our toes by doing exactly the opposite. His post-modern wit was not lost on cerebral onlookers like local brainbox Roger Perrin as he sat down at the keys and played Elton John's 'I'm still standing'.

Becky Scarrott

The fuse of the second set was lit up by one of my favourites of the night 'Careless Whisper'. The massive chasm between the band's crisp talent (Bob McKay solo) and the singing of Piers Green was of Grand Canyon proportions......until..... I heard the next man to take the stage..... Rob Streetley.
Just like Marlon Brando he sweated sex-appeal but also inherited his mumbling diction and we all worried one of us would wake up with a horse's head on our pillow in the morning.

The best three dancers of the night came next. Sam and Jenna (Particularly the former) were scintillating with their moves on 'No Diggity'. While George Trebar's camp version of 'Abracadabra' would have brought the house down at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Becky Scarrott, dramatic 'Year 2000' was a real thriller never to be destined for the pulp fiction shelves.


Chris Southwell

Another George Michael pretender (Chris Southwell) came to the stage but this time with his Andrew Ridgely (Matthew Cox) and we were woken up before the drink took its toll.


George Bone

The biggest surprise of the evening was a man who had morphed into not one man, but five visions of Adonis. He oozed the strutting confidence of Robbie, the musical prowess of Gary, the unbridled sex appeal of Jason, the enigmatic subtlety of Howard and the sensitive caress of Mark.
Take that No.88 Bar he sang, 'Could this be magic?', for me it was. Just like the mild mannered janitor, George 'Badass' Bone, had turned into the Hong Kong Phooey of the Festival of Awfulness.



Leo Appleyard


The Ballon Merde of the Festival must go to Leo Appleyard because of the shear awfulness he brought to his Toploader tune. The hours of practice he must have put in and to unselfishly sacrifice his ample talents for his friend Dan were admirable. It wasn't all his fault though. The crowd had been baying his name like a pack of hunting hounds with a whiff of blood in their nostrils since the start of the evening.

Karen Straw

I was just able to hear the buoyantly bunched Karen Straw before I tried to find my way back into the real world.
Stumbling back through Kingston's bus garage and into a half-consumed can of super strength lager I knew I had arrived.

What will next year's Festival of Awfulness bring us I wonder.
All I know is Dan Redding will be a year older and everyone will be waking up the next morning with sore ribs from laughing (and possibly drinking) too much.

Happy Birthday Dan!

AL.

Tommy